you are a sinner. go wash your hands and brush your teeth. go eat some melon and throw soiled diapers at the mirror. go wrap tin foil around your head, pour milk on yourself, run outside of your apartment/house, look up at the sky and scream at the top of your lungs: "apple turnovers? why?!?!". stick wasabi peas up your nose, as far up as you can get them. eat styrofoam, but not before you cover it with garlic powder. pee on your neighbor. punch yourself in the head. pour salt in your eyes. staple your nipples to the wall. shave your eyebrows off, then eat them. get a tattoo of a rat on your forehead. a big tattoo of a big rat.
Disclaimer (from the TBTMNS legal department): TBTMNS is not responsible for any injuries, fights, wars, plagues, nuclear winters, winters of discontent, spring chickens, summer squash, or autumn warts that may occur from any of the above suggestions.
1 comment:
I'm open to washing my hands, brushing my teeth, eating melon, and peeing on my neighbor. But, I refuse to throw soiled diapers at the mirror, do the apple turnovers and tin foil thing, stick wasabi peas up my nose, eat garlic powder on styrofoam, punch myself, pour salt into my eyes, eating my eyebrow shavings, stapling my nipples to the wall, or getting a rat tattoo on my forehead.
Because if I did any of those things, you can bet I would have a winter of discontent.
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