Meeting

There is a meeting with Lorenzo scheduled for 5:15pm this afternoon. Please clear your calendars - this is a top priority. Lorenzo has traveled from afar to be briefed on our progress as individuals, as a team and as a self sustaining organism.

The agenda for the meeting is as follows:
5:15 - Introduce Lorenzo to the team
5:25 - Individual team members will introduce themselves to Lorenzo. When introducing yourself, please be sure to mention the following: a) Your favorite flavor of ice cream b) your shoe size c) your sexual preference (men, women, both, neither or other) d) your strategy for increasing market share for your particular product line and/or geographic region
5:45 - Lorenzo will teach us how to make lemonaid from lemons. Please be sure to bring a large pitcher, ice, lemons and sugar. No artificial sweetener will be allowed into the room. Lorenzo is deathly afraid of all artificial sweeteners. Large doses have been proven to cause cancer in lab rats.
6:05 - Lorenzo will sneeze, pass gas, belch and pick his nose. This ritual marks the half way point of our meeting.
6:07 - Lorenzo will begin his presentation on "The molecular structure of petroleum based plastic derivatives and how we can make the world a greener place by spray painting everything green."
6:50 - Lorenzo will conclude his presentation with a human sacrifice. Straws will be drawn.
7:10 - Dinner

***NOTE*** When addressing Lorenzo, do not look him directly in the eye. If for some reason you do look Lorenzo in the eye, you should immediately go to your hands and knees and begin to massage his calves while singing the Algerian national anthem.