For The Ones That "Don't Get It".

Here is an entry that I have created especially for the crazy people out there. You know who you are. You wash your fruit before you eat it. You look both ways before you cross the street. You have a file cabinet, and within your file cabinet you have a folder marked "Old Bank Statements". You like rice. And you like the smell of money. If any or all of the above apply to you, then this entry is yours...

Today is June 11th, and it marks the 162 day of the year 2007, Anno Domini. I am sitting in front of my laptop. My wireless mouse, my ipod (which is charging) and a stack of checks, bills and receipts sit to my right. To my left is a tall glass of cold water. It is perspiring in the heat of the afternoon, and a ring of water has gathered around the base of the glass and is ruining the finish on my dark, wood stained desk. I am very upset about that. To the left of the glass sits a portable, 1 gig hard drive. This purple and silver chewing gum shaped technological marvel currently holds a series of photographs that need to be delivered to my printer, Gina, at Spectra. Gina is a very nice woman with short cropped hair and a dark complexion. If I had to guess, I would say she is of South East Asian decent - either Cambodian or Vietnamese.

On my desk you can also find the silver ring I wear on the pinky finger of my right hand, my wrist watch, my wallet and my keychain. The keychain carries 5 keys: One required for entry to my apartment building, one required for unlocking the deadbolt (a.k.a. "Top Lock") of my apartment, one key for the bottom lock of my apartment, one key for my apartment mailbox and one key for my post office box. Very exciting.

Sharing space with the five keys is a little plastic card that serves as entry to the gym I belong to - New York Sports Club. The plastic tag is tattered and worn. The original hole through which my key ring once laced through grew wider and wider until one day the interior edge of the hole met the outer border of the tag and the hole was no longer a hole, but a tear that caused the tag to become detached from my keyring. I had to create a new hole for my keyring by heating a small metal rod and pushing it through the tag. The heat caused the plastic to soften to the point where I was able to insert the metal rod completely through the plastic tag. I then removed the metal rod and, one the plastic had cooled, I reinserted my keyring through the new hole. Now I can go to the gym again.

That's it for today. Stay tuned, as tomorrow I will describe in excruciating detail the contents of my top desk drawer. Then, on Wednesday, I will discuss my rolodex and the two bins that sit behind my laptop and hold various paper products. I may also discuss at that time the photograph that sits on my desk, the clock that sits next to the photograph and the pride of my life, a brass paperweight in the shape of a pyramid that was given to me on the day of my five year anniversary with Fidelity Investments. I always keep it shiny and close to me. Thanks Ned.